April 20- One Moment

One Moment

by Daniel White

 

Bring me back now

To a much better year

To a time when everything was simple

Take away all of my fear

 

I’ve spent my entire life

Waiting in the shadows

But, somehow I survived

You heart I will allow

 

Stepping out of the darkness

I sense a bitter chill

Of love, hate and sadness

Each one I have fulfilled

 

Now I grasp for a moment

A life I thought I’d lost

Putting it all behind me

You help make me strong

 

Bring me back now

To that time I desire

When life was simple

When I was never tired

 

I no longer wait in the shadows

Now that I’ve found you

I look forward to tomorrow

What it will bring is true

 

I’ve stepped out of the darkness

I can feel a touch of warmth

Bringing truth, hope and contentment

Of all this I am sure

 

Grasping for that moment

Giving myself a reason to live

I’ve put all my hopes in front of me

I have so much left to give

 

Bring me back now

To that special time

Where I could sit and laugh

And tears of joy I’d cry

 

I want to share this with you

As on the present I reflect

My empty thoughts are now filled

With the good times we collect

 

 

This is definitely one of my favorite poems of Dan’s.  It was one of the firsts that he had shared with me.  He wrote it to symbolizes a important time in his life.  One where he had realized a truth that brought him joy and made him free.  This poem always give me hope and is something I very much cherish.  It was the poem that was chosen to be shared on the collage of pictures of Dan’s life at his funeral.  It was well chosen.

 

J.R

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April 19- The Traveler

The Traveler

by Daniel White

 

Is this the life that I could have lived

Or could I have done so much better

Where is that boat I seem to have missed

Will I be stranded here alone forever

 

A traveler I am

A restless spirit within

One lonely wanderer

Waiting for tomorrow

I keep traveling

 

Was this the love I’ve never known

And will I always be filled with emptiness

There is nothing left to grasp or hold

As I drown silently in my loneliness

 

A traveler I prove to be

A little child within

One abandoned stranger

Hoping for a better tomorrow

I continue wandering

 

Am I meant to do this my whole life

Will I ever find the answers I need

I want to dig deep down inside

And rediscover the man I used to be

 

A traveler I am

A lonely spirit within

One desperate wanderer

Dreading what tomorrow will bring

I am the traveler

April 17- Alone

Alone
By Daniel White

I am a man who walks alone
Gradually, I trudge into the fearful night
Within my heart, despair has found a home
As I crouch into this suicidal light

Born to only live a meaningless life
Bred to see the hate within my soul
Torn apart by never gaining the prize
Led to the agony of unfinished goals
I feel alone
So alone
I am an idiot who is filled with foolish notions
Slowly, I tread between my friends and family
Within my sick mind filled with hateful emotions
I sit back and watch my cruel and bitter enemies

Lost inside my imaginations of rage
Made not to be who I wish to be
Tossed about in sordid thoughts with which I pray
Paid to look away from my individuality
I am alone

Very alone
With. I one but myself
Walking on my own
In the darkness that I dwell

April 16-Smothered In Regret

Smothered In Regret

by Daniel White

 

I sit here along with memories

Each one filled with hurt and regret

I can feel them relive within me

While I am alone and upset

 

Those lost hopes have paved

A path I can no longer crave

These lost and broken dreams

Are all that live inside of me

I wish I could find release

 

I lie to myself once more

Trying to justify my actions

And I am still left out and ignored

When I choose to seek your reaction

 

The fall air is cool

And I am still a lonely fool

These lost hopes

Are all I know

And I cannot find escape

There is never escape

 

I am smothered by all of these years

Which continue to hold my darkest fears

Forever damned by the mistakes I can’t take back

Always bound by me bittersweet past

 

If only I could move forward

And not replay the regret which smothers me

Instead I give up and move towards

My loneliness that rests eternally

 

So, I continue to sit here

And think about each memory

Filled with regret and fear

If only I could escape  from me

There is never any release

April 15-New Life

New Life

by Daniel White

 

Moving forward, only to get nowhere

Thinking positive, never to have real peace of mind

Falling in love, to watch it all disappear

Living now, only to one day collapse and die

 

Where is my live, now that I have nothing

I am consumed by empty, bitter thoughts

Resting and waiting, for death that will be something

An appropriate ending, which I’ve always sought

 

Where is that new life

That I’ve forever dreamed of

A life that was meant to be

Instead I’m neglected and starved

While no new life waits for me

 

Pushing ahead, only to get pulled back down

Doing the right thing, never getting the credit I deserve

Extending my hand, to those who slap is around

Trying to avoid pain, only to end up getting hurt

 

My life is darker than the evening winter sky

Downward my courage drops and no longer exists

To put a concluding finish to this is worth a try

A desperate notion that I can no longer resist

 

“Hold on and wait for a new life,”  they say

I’ve been holding on for long enough

Now I know that life was never meant to be

I no longer have a reason to be strong

As the life I have now is all I will ever see

 

April 2nd- From Out Of the Dark

From Out Of the Dark

by Daniel White

 

Another victim of another crime

Is once again late for the show

Another mistake from some other time

Leaves me hurt and alone

 

We walk on the surface of our fears

Into what we are dreaming

Then watch it all disappear

As I begin screaming

 

From out of the dark

I reach for you

Not within my grasp

I try to get through

 

One more night I desire to be on my own

From hidden inclinations of what I’ve known

I loved her once, but now I’m not so sure

Is this what I’m dying for

 

I walked toward the light

No longer within my wary sight

Disturbed by the silence

I step out of the darkness

 

From out of the dark

Come voices of the past

I can hear the first ones

As they become last

 

I can still remember

The way she cried

How could I forget

It was then or never

On the night she died

Only for me to regret

 

You can hide from death

More that a million times

The faces change

And so does the time

She will always live in my mind

 

Another victim I live to be

As I arrive at the show

Some other crimes stands in front of me

As memories have left me alone

 

From out of the dark

I reach for you

Not within my grasp

As I finally get through