April 18- Lost Hope

I lay here in the night thinking
Of times of the past
I had high hopes.

I found you.
Then I lost you to death
Then I found a friend,
Who left me.

Then I found one more friend
Who also left me
Even my own brother had left me,

They all made choices that left
The rest of us alone.
Left me alone,

I had thought that I would
Be alone, but
When I did find these people
My hopes for an understanding heart
Grew. But one by one I lost those close to me.

Sometimes I feel like I let it happen
But I had no idea what was going on in your lives.
I wish I knew then.

Maybe I am to be alone forever
But there is a light in my heart
That is strong like a tree
That shines through me.
A light of hope
One that say “keep going,
Keep living. You will not be alone.”

I believe this light.
And if I am always alone
This light will alway give me company
And the hope needed.

J.R

April 18- Willing But Afraid

Willing But Afraid
by Daniel White

When death takes its hateful control
I can feel it blossom within my soul
Loss of mind, loss of sight
My time to leave will arrive tonight

Hold me down, don’t let me go
Take away all I have known
I will return to dust for eternity
Within a sense of quiet security

So many promises have been lost
As I forget important memories
In my sleep I turn and toss
And wave good-bye to everything before me

I’m willing but afraid
Death is soon on its way
Despair and anguish take their hold
I was young, but now I’m old

What more can I find
I cannot see, I’m blind
What else can I do
I will depart soon

I’m willing to live
And afraid to die
To my friends I will give
A final good-bye

I’m afraid to live
But, willing to die
My family will give
Their comfort and cries

I will now drift
Into the abyss
I love you all
As into the blackness I fall

April 17- Alone

Alone
By Daniel White

I am a man who walks alone
Gradually, I trudge into the fearful night
Within my heart, despair has found a home
As I crouch into this suicidal light

Born to only live a meaningless life
Bred to see the hate within my soul
Torn apart by never gaining the prize
Led to the agony of unfinished goals
I feel alone
So alone
I am an idiot who is filled with foolish notions
Slowly, I tread between my friends and family
Within my sick mind filled with hateful emotions
I sit back and watch my cruel and bitter enemies

Lost inside my imaginations of rage
Made not to be who I wish to be
Tossed about in sordid thoughts with which I pray
Paid to look away from my individuality
I am alone

Very alone
With. I one but myself
Walking on my own
In the darkness that I dwell

April 17- Your Choice Made

Another one lost today
Left in the side of the road
Without the strength to move on
Or maybe she did it on purpose.

Maybe she wanted to leave me
And the rest of us
Alone here, walking.

I told her that I would be her help
I would help her like I had
Always wanted someone to help me
When the worst thing in my life happened

I wanted to be strong for her
To be with her
Yet she did not let me in
Did not even talk to me
Maybe I was mistaken with
What I thought we had

Was I?
Was I wrong?
We have to pick up the pieces
Now. The ones you left
And move on
Keep going the journey
Even though the steps away from you
Become harder.

Yet, in the end it was the choice you made
And we both have to live with it.

J.R

April 11-One More Miracle

One More Miracle

by Daniel White

 

As I climb up this pensive stairway

Into a place I’ve been once before

Thoughts of memories blacken my yesterday

As I glance back inside what is no more

 

Falling asleep I grasp my fantasy

I start to dream about what is there in front of me

I reach out my crippled hands

But remain within this trance

Hoping for one more miracle

 

While I enter the room of my past

I sense my heart is torn and broken

As the night is set free at last

Into the words I have spoken

 

Wandering through my nightmare

I try to face reality

I feel so alone and scared

With just my hopeless sentimentality

I wish for just one more miracle

 

A few more thoughts for my life

One more dream to help me survive

A half of tear drops from these eyes

As the sorrow and pain remains inside

 

As I listen to what a voice says

In this room of dream and hope

Its only coming from my momentary rest

I look for a reason I should know

 

Turning away from what I’ve experienced

I am released from this room in and instance

Even if the sorrow stays

I still look back on my dark yesterdays

Searching for only one more miracle

April 10-The Story of the Glass Pond

A glass pond in a blank world
The start of something true
I find the stains on the page dance
They move and flow just

Like the water that is glass still
Yet always moving.
A stain upon a stain
A letter. Then word upon words create this world I see.

The story of the glass pond
With the tree of old
Leaves stretching like time itself
Into the pond of imagination

The leaves make ripples in the water
Moving the images reflected
Breaking the calm surface.
Yet the thoughts remain still
As though time was never an issue

In this pond can be seen the forest
And the creatures of ice.
A story to be told if one dare writes it
If one dares to make the first stain
The first ripple in the page.

J.R

April 9th-Imagine a World

There was once a world
A world full a beauty
One that had brights stars
All along the black expanse

There were blue planets,
Red and green planets.
Even the occasional desert planet.
There were societies to find.
Landscapes like paintings.

It was a word of treasures.
A world of space and poetry
A world of fiction
A world that dreams had created
Combined with literature

It was a world that once made grew,

It took over other worlds
It took people prisoner
Yet who would call such a place a prison,

There were fights to be made,
Loyalties to find
Even love to work for.

All who found a glimpse of this world
Would indeed become trapped here
I have found a window to this place
There is no returning for me,
No hope.

I have become a prisoner to reality
And to the this world of impossibilities
I wish to be with one world alone
The one of beauty.

I wish to be prisoner to the world that
Exists only because of our imagination.

J.R